It is currently Tue Apr 25, 2017 8:10 pm

All times are UTC



Welcome
Welcome to am2r

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. In addition, registered members also see less advertisements. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free, so please, join our community today!



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 106 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 11  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: The intro
PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 11:13 pm 
Offline
Site Admin

Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2010 4:09 pm
Posts: 475
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
One of the few things I still haven´t thought too much about is the intro sequence.
I know how´s it going to be, but I have trouble with the text.

The intro sequence will begin with a short piece of onscreen text with an outline of the mission, then it crossfades with a scene of the ship landing in SR388, Super Metroid style (vertical scrolling). After that, the game begins.

It´s pretty easy to script and execute the intro, but my English isn´t very good, and I´m afraid I can´t write a proper, correct intro text without grammar errors, weird sentences or typos.

So, this is where you come in. I´ll be taking suggestions from all of you, and whoever makes the best will be featured in the game credits. Please note:
- It should be concise and pretty short, it must fit a single screen.
- It could be retrospective in first person, like telling what the mission meant in her life (Other M/Zero Mission style)
- It should fit properly into the story (there are no changes from the original)

Thanks!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The intro
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:06 am 
Offline

Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2011 11:38 pm
Posts: 2
The plot of the insidious Space pirate leader Mother Brain to utilize the artificially created life-forms known as "Metroid" to control the universe was successfully thwarted.

With their unique ability to siphon the energy from other living beings, the Galactic Federation have decided that it is too dangerous for the Metroid to exist.

The Galactic Federation sent a research team to the home planet of the Metroid: SR388. When the ship lost contact, the GF sent in a rescue squad to extract any survivors, but were met with similar results.

Fearing that there may be more Metroid lurking on the planet's surface, the GF decided it was time for immediate action.

To combat them, they have ordered the galaxy's most revered and most feared bounty hunter, Samus Aran, to eliminate the nightmare once and for all...

Is that better? (Sorry I borrowed the italics idea from the previous poster)


Last edited by Alpha_Deathclaw on Fri Sep 09, 2011 5:08 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The intro
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:44 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:21 pm
Posts: 188
Not bad... my only gripe is that the first sentence is very long... just break it up some with a few periods instead of commas.

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The intro
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:44 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:12 am
Posts: 3
Location: Australia
The Galactic Federation sent a research team to the planet called SR388...

After communication was lost, the Federation mobilised a squad of soldiers... (Mobilized is the American spelling.)

No transmissions were received from the soldiers after they landed on SR388...

The Federation inferred that this was caused by the presence of Metroids...

All the members of the Federation assembled, and they came to the conclusion...

That I would exterminate the Metroid threat from SR388.



I've worded it this way so that each line fades in, and doesn't make the reader / player's mind explode.

If you think this is too much / little text, then I can make changes to it.

I would enjoy criticism or others opinions to help improve this, thank you.

-MWK

_________________
Grow old or die trying.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The intro
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:53 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:52 am
Posts: 2
SR388... home of the Metroid. After the
Galactic Federation's teams were destroyed
on this hostile planet, they sent me to
finish the job... to destroy all traces of
the Metroid and to save the galaxy from
their threat forever.
_____________________-Samus Aran-


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The intro
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 1:11 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:55 am
Posts: 4
After samus have been sent to planet zebes to destroy space pirate leader Mother Brain.The galactic federation recived a signal it were other tipe of metroids!Rarely called alpha,gamma,zeta and omega metroids also the original and they recived data of new abilities they were never seen before,so they sent Samus to the nest named SR388 to destroy the metroid and the planet with the queen inside.So they don't know if Samus would return alive or dead.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The intro
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 1:19 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:55 am
Posts: 4
thats my intro idea


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The intro
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 1:29 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 4:52 am
Posts: 992
maybe have it sort of like the Metroid Zero Mission opening text/intro movie.

To ensure the safety of the galaxy,
the Galactic Federation has sent Samus Aran to exterminate the species known as the "Metroid".

Samus knew the danger that she would be put in,
but she agreed that it would be best to exterminate them before the infamous Space Pirates could find them,
and use them to take over the galaxy.


the text would appear one line at a time, fade out, then the next line would appear.
i am a native English speaking American and as far as i know, the text above has no spelling, or grammatical errors.

anyways, that's my idea for the intro.

anyone that wants to edit my text can, but i ask that you please do it tastefully.

@fanatic metroid, please don't double post, it's against the forum rules. i suggest that everyone reads them before posting anywhere on the forums.

_________________
ImageImage


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The intro
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 2:22 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 5:26 pm
Posts: 563
Location: Aether
A number of research vessels sent to investigate SR388, the homeworld of the Metroids, vanish in succession. Assuming that the crews have been overcome by the metroids living in the planet's caverns, the Galactic Federation sends Samus Aran to eradicate the Metroids.

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The intro
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 2:29 am 
Offline
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2010 8:52 pm
Posts: 1003
Might I suggest that you make your own intro Doc? We could easily proofread and/or correct yours. Even if you still wanted something from a different person, we could easily get inspiration from seeing what you would have done.

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 106 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 11  Next

All times are UTC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Donate Now
Donate Now


© 2008 phpbbstylists.com

Hosted by © 2017 FreeForums.org | Create a free forum | Powered by phpBB
About FreeForums | Legal | Advertise Here | Investors | Contact FreeForums.org
Report Violation
suspicion-preferred